Bob Spinnaker:My father didn't keep me out of Vietnam so that I could die in my own high school!
Walter Baylor:[holding a knife]One more move and she gets a hole where she doesn't need one.
Dr. Robert Young:I know Walter Baylor intimately.
Meredith Modess:Really? Well, did you know he was going to kill Milt?
Dr. Robert Young:Yes.
Meredith Modess:Then why didn't you try to stop him?
Dr. Robert Young:I couldn't find a parking spot.
Hubert Downs:Walter, if you come on down I promise if we're ever in the shower together again I won't snap your nuts with my towel.
Hubert Downs:Let me handle this. Hey, Walter, listen, you're making a big deal out of nothing. You're not unique, you know. Everyone in class had sex with your sister.
Dr. Robert Young:He was institutionalized shortly after graduating from here. He committed a heinous crime against his parents with an upright vacuum cleaner.
[while hiding in a cupboard]
Bunny Packard:Whoever has his hand where his hand shouldn't be please remove it... Hubert.
Hubert Downs:Hey, Bunny, it's not my hand!
Bunny Packard:You know, you should consider going into public relations, Delores. You would be marvellous!
Delores Salk:Why? So I could be some tight-assed phoney bitch like you?
Delores Salk:You know, I like it! Hey, let's have lunch!
Gary Nash:Erm, Meredith would you, er, I mean could you?
Meredith Modess:Gary, are you asking me to marry you?
Meredith Modess:Oh, yes, I'd love to be Mrs Gary, erm...?
Gary Nash:Nash! Gary Nash!
Hubert Downs:Hey, erm, Iris? Howdya like to marry me, huh?
Iris Augen:Oh Hubert! You mean it?
Hubert Downs:Sure. We'll settle down, have a couple of kids.
Iris Augen:Yeah, one like you and one like me!
Walter Baylor:Listen! How about we all sing the Borden Loyalty Song, huh?
Delores Salk:No! I didn't sing that fucking song in school, and I ain't singing it for you, fuzz-nuts!
Hubert Downs:[Walter is threatening to stab Meredith]Walter, can we see her naked before you kill her?
[everyone shouts: Walter! Hey, it's Walter! as Walter hops in wearing a straightjacket]
Walter Baylor:Hee-hee! What a great bunch of kids!
Vampire Guy:[emergency vehicle sirens in the background]Walter? I think your ride is here! Hey everybody, let's do the Walter!
Bob Spinnaker:[Looking down at Hubert's body]Poor ignorant bastard.
Delores Salk:Should I cremate him?
Bunny Packard:No! What happened to him?
Bob Spinnaker:Seems as though Walter Baylor has struck again.
Bob Spinnaker:Well... at least he died in the Girl's Convenience and not on a battlefield somewhere.
Chip Hendrix:What Carl Jung was trying to say is that trapped inside of each of us, there is a woman that comes out when we fuck up real bad.
Carl Clapton:You mean, there's a woman trapped inside of me?
Carl Clapton:A black woman or a white woman?
Chip Hendrix:A Jewish woman.
Chip Hendrix:I don't... I don't... I don't... I don't know.
Carl Clapton:You mean, when I fuck up as a man, the woman inside comes out?
Chip Hendrix:Yeah. Yeah well look, now do you understand what l'm talking about?
Carl Clapton:No. Man, have you ever thought of me as a woman?
Chip Hendrix:No, but I have thought of you as a farm animal.