Ariel:How's your marriage?
Andrew:My marriage is fine.
Andrew:It's not working but it's fine.
Andrew:I'm not a poet. I don't die for love. I work on Wall Street.
Andrew:Sex alleviates tension and love causes it.
Ariel:He taught me a lot...
Ariel:Like how to listen to Mozart.
Andrew:With your ears, right?
Maxwell:I'm a doctor and I believe in the spirit world.
Andrew:Oh, you have to, Maxwell, that's where all your patients end up.
Ariel:Andrew, we'll get killed!
Andrew:No, no. Don't be silly. Trust me, it's me, Andrew... Trust me anyhow.
Dulcy:A hammock! That's so nostalgic for me. I lost it in a hammock.
Dulcy:You have to have really good balance.
Andrew:I wonder if geniuses have problems with their sex lives.
Maxwell:Andrew, are you all right?
Andrew:Maxwell, I think I fractured my last remaining nose
Maxwell:You shouldn't fly. You're a mammal.
Andrew, Maxwell:Thank you, Maxwell. A doctor with a license is no smarter.
Maxwell:He never tires of insulting me, but when he's sick...
Andrew:Yeah? Who overcharges me?
Maxwell:But you always get well, don't you, Andrew?
Andrew:I would get well anyhow, Maxwell, even without the leeches.
Andrew:When are you gonna grow up? You're like one of those creatures in Greek mythology who's half-goat.
Andrew:I didn't lie. I wasn't lying, Adrian. I was not lying. Do you want to know why I lied?
Maxwell:I never felt like this. The moment I smelled her I loved her.
Andrew:Well, smell someone else. She's taken.
Andrew:He's a wonderful guy and a terrific doctor. Never lost a patient. Got a couple of them pregnant, but never lost one.
Leopold:So, you're an inventor, hey?
Adrian:Andrew's invented a wedding present for you and Ariel. Tell 'em about that.
Andrew:It's a silly apparatus that takes the bones out of fish, and if you prefer, although there's no point to it, it puts bones in fish.
Ariel:I don't love you.
Maxwell:Because you don't know me. Give me ten minutes, ten lousy minutes.
Andrew:Only a drunken, infantile idiot shoots himself over love, not an internist.
Ariel:You showed me your latest invention.
Andrew:Of course, my musical house slippers. Remember that?
Leopold:I had the privilege of escorting Ariel through the Sistine Chapel for the first time in her life and explaining to her exactly why Michelangelo's ceiling was indeed great.
Ariel:When Raphael first laid eyes on it, he fainted.
Andrew:Had he eaten?
Adrian:[Referring to sex]I can't! It's disgusting!
Andrew:How can it be disgusting? I don't even have my clothes off.
Andrew:It's nothing serious - just an arrow in his heart.
Andrew:Adrian, this is the kitchen table. What are you doing?
Andrew:We cannot have intercourse where we eat oatmeal!
Dulcy:[Aroused]Leopold, bite me... hard!
Leopold:I can't. These aren't my teeth.