Stan Nagurski:I didn't want to say anything, but you're boring.
Stan Nagurski:Never stop anywhere you might have to get out the car
Stan Nagurski:Nagurski's Law Number Four: "Never go into a music store that's been cut into with an acetyline torch."
Brent Falcone:Oh boy... Oreos. Double cream.
Brent Falcone:Hi, Honey. I've been shot again.
Brent Falcone:Falcone's Law Number One: Let Nagurski do it.
Kid Drummer - 'Municipalians':Hey man, get outta my face.
Brent Falcone:I didn't - I didn't mean to.... Be in your face.
Brent Falcone:How 'bout we just bop over to my place, look around the garage, I bet we could set up a set of drums just for you.
Brent Falcone:[Kid drummer shots Falcone, leaving him staggering back to the squad car]Hey Stan, a little kid shot me.
Stan Nagurski:Now I'm gonna give you the first of Nagurski's Laws. Never throw water on a sleeping junkie.
Stan Nagurski:Nagurski's Law number three, always call the car a vehicle around whores, they get off on that.
Samuel Starkman:[smashes front window from inside with a gun]Ya can't touch me coppas, I've got a lawyer.
Lawyer:[smashes another front window with a briefcase]I'm tired of being heckeled and harrassed by the police and I intend to sue for every nickle they've got... Take my wife, please.
Junkie:I know that guy, huh!
Lawyer:I take my wife everywhere, but she finds her way home. I ask my wife, "what do you want to do for your anniversary?" She says "I wanna go someplace I've never been before." I said "Try the kitchen."
Brent Falcone:Stan, what do we do?
Stan Nagurski:You heard him, the guys got a lawyer.
Stan Nagurski:[pulling up to the curb]How's it going girls?
Spanish Prositute - 'Municipalians':I was stabbed in the leg by an aircraft mechanic.
Stan Nagurski:I'm sorry.
Brent Falcone:Nagurski, Stan Negurski. I'm Brent Falcone, your new partner.
Stan Nagurski:My wife divorced me, then she died. I'll tell you about it sometime.
Junkie:I've got this dog, you know, who's really messed up, because he was doing some animal tranquilizers or something like that.
Junkie:Yeah and when I got up, I reached over to smack my dog, see. Because when I get up... I like to smack him... I went - whack, right...
Brent Falcone:That's... that's not nice.
Junkie:My dog got really pissed off. And he ran in the bathroom and he put some Ajax in my syringe and fucked me up, right. So, I may not be too high right now but, uh-huh-uh... I'm clean.
Stan Nagurski:Flake out man, flake out. Nargusrki's law number three: Always call the car a vehicle around whores. They get off on that.
Brent Falcone:It's your turn, Stan.
Brent Falcone:[Looking agitated]It's your turn.
Stan Nagurski:My turn, I've got seniority.
Brent Falcone:I don't give a shit.
Stan Nagurski:Ow, come on.
Brent Falcone:Get out of the car!
Brent Falcone:[looking extremely agitated]Get out of the fucking car!