Fagin:[sings]I'm reviewing the situation / Can a fellow be a villain all his life? / All the trials and tribulations. / Better settle down and get myself a wife! / And a wife would cook and sew for me, / And come for me, and go for me, / And go for me, and nag at me, / The fingers, she would wag at me. / The money she would take from me. / A misery, she'll make from me... I think I'd better think it out again!
Oliver Twist:Please sir, I want some more.
Mr. Bumble:[thinking he must not have heard right]What?
Oliver Twist:Please sir, I want some...
Mr. Bumble:[surprised beyond belief]More?
Boy:Fagin, this sausage is moldy!
Fagin:Shut up and drink your gin.
Dodger:Oh yes! We're all ladies and gentlemen around here. We're all quality.
Nancy:Now don't you take no notice of them, just because you got manners and they ain't!
Mr. Jessop:Two other boys stole Mr. Brownlow's wallet. This child had nothing to do with it!
The Magistrate:[half-drunk]But sentence has been passed... hasn't it?
Mr. Brownlow:In the eyes of the law, you are the more guilty of the two, for the law supposes that your wife acts under your direction.
Mr. Bumble:If that's what the law supposes, sir, then the law is a ass! If that be the eyes of the law, sir, then the law is a bachelor!
Fagin:[singing]Can somebody change? It's possible - maybe it's strange, but it's possible. All my dearest companions and treasures, I've left them behind/ I'll turn a leaf over/ and who can tell what I may find?
[he starts to walk towards London Bridge when Dodger appears behind a post-box]
Fagin:Yes? Young man? And do I have the honor of your acquaintance?
[Dodger shows him a wallet he has just stolen]
Dodger:Only the best. Lovely workmanship, ain't it?
[Fagin takes the wallet, looks inside and smiles]
Fagin:[sings]I'm reviewing/ the situation...
Dodger:Once the villain, you're a villain to THE END!
Fagin:Your light fingers.
Fagin, Dodger:What a team!
Dodger:Am I your partner?
Fagin:More a friend. For your talents are employable/ so make your life enjoyable/ a world with pockets open wide/ awaits your whim to grope inside...
Fagin:We might retire respectable!
Dodger:Together till our dying day!
Fagin:The living proof that crime can pay!
Fagin, Dodger:I think we'll have to think it out again! Hey!
Mr. Bumble:Mother came to us destitute. Brings a child into the world, takes one look at him and promptly dies - -without leaving so much as a forwarding name and address!
Nancy:I thieved for you when I was half his age and it's your dirty work I've been doing ever since.
Bill:Well if you have it's a living ain't it?
Fagin:Yes, a living is a living.
Nancy:Some living, Lord help me, some living!
Bill Sikes:You're a fine one for the boy to make a friend of!
Nancy:Yes, I am, Lord help me! But tonight he's a liar, and a thief, and all that's bad! Ain't that enough for you without beating him to death?
Nancy:Bill, you do love me, don't ya?
Bill Sikes:Of course I do; I live with ya, don't I?
Fagin:We must have civil words, Bill. Civil words.
Mr. Brownlow:[referring to Bill Sikes]Who is this man?
Nancy:No, I won't tell ya! Whatever else I do I won't turn on him. You wouldn't understand, but I've got to go back. I want to go back.
Nancy:[singing]Who cares if straightlaces sneer at us in the street? Fine airs and fine graces don't have to sin to eat.
Mr. Brownlow:Wait! Is the boy hurt, ill-treated? If so, I shall...
Nancy:[referring to Bill Sikes]I can't say no more, PLEASE! He'll kill me as it is if he finds out!
Noah Claypole:Your mother was a regular, right-down bad 'un.
Bill:Hand it over, you avaricious old skeleton.
Fagin:[sings]In this life, one thing counts / In the bank, large amounts / I'm afraid these don't grow on trees, / You've got to pick-a-pocket or two / You've got to pick-a-pocket or two, boys, / You've got to pick-a-pocket or two.
Boy:[sings]Large amounts don't grow on trees. / You've got to pick-a-pocket or two.
Fagin:Bill, please, no violence!
Dodger:[sings]Once a villain, you're a villain to the end!
Sowerberry:Well, having a rest Mr. Bumble?
Noah Claypole:He's sitting on Oliver.
Sowerberry:Quite right, we must all sit on Oliver.
Mrs. Sowerberry:Have you been drinking again?
Sowerberry:[wistfully]I met a friend in the cemetery...
Bill Sikes:[realizing he's trapped]Nancy, I loved you didn't I? Look what you've done to me!
Fagin:[singing]A wife you can keep, anyway/ I'd rather sleep, anyway.
Fagin:[Pointing to the blood stain]There's *blood*... on your coat, Bill!
Bill:You can keep the books. Start a library!
Dodger:Consider yourself... at home / Consider yourself... one of the family / We've taken to you... so strong / It's clear... we're... going to get along! / Consider yourself... well in / Consider yourself... part of the furniture / There isn't a lot... to spare / Who cares? What... ever we've got we share! / If it should chance to be / We should see some harder days / Empty larder days... Why grouse? / Always a chance we'll meet somebody / To foot the bill / Then the drinks are on the house! / Consider yourself... our mate / We don't want to have... no fuss / For after some consideration we can state... Consider yourself - one of us!
Oliver Twist:[singing]Where is love?
Sowerberry:[Drunk]Well, well having a rest Mr Bumble?
Noah Claypole:He's sitting on Oliver!
Sowerberry:Quite right! We must all sit on Oliver!
Mrs. Sowerberry:You been drinking again?
Sowerberry:[Missing the point]I met a friend at the cemetery!
Fagin:[to Oliver]Delighted to see you looking so well my Dear! The Dodger will give you another suit for fear you will spoil that Sunday one!
Dodger:[Finding Oliver's money]Cor! Look at this!
Fagin:[to Oliver after taking the money]I'll bank it for ya.
Bill Sikes:What's that? That's mine Fagin!
Fagin:Oh no my Dear. Mine! Ours! You shall have the books.
Bill Sikes:You hand it over you old skeleton!
[Fagin reluctantly Bill the money]
Bill Sikes:. That's for our share of the trouble. You keep the books. Start a library.