• 电影名称 The Heartbreak Kid

  • ——It seemed like a good idea... at the time
  • 中文名称 心碎度蜜月
  •  类型  喜剧 / 爱情
  •  国家  美国
  •  语言  英语 / 西班牙语
  •  时长  1 hr 56 min (116 min)
  • 上映时间 5 October 2007 (USA)

台词:

Eddie Cantrow:This is my dad.

Lila:Oh, hi Dad.

Doc:Nice to meet you, Lila.

Lila:How do you know my name?

Doc:Okay, cat's out of the bag. My son found your panties on the sidewalk and we've been talking about you all week. Eddie, give her back her undies.

Doc:Now listen to me and listen to me good! When your wife, on her honeymoon, asks you to cock her, you cock her good, God damn it!

Lila:Fuck me like a black guy, Eddie, come on!

Martin:I smell something weird down here. Smells like ya'll been hitting the Devil's lettuce.

[last lines]

Eddie Cantrow:Fuck me.

Mac:Look, you want to know the secret to a happy marriage? Do what I do. Plaster on a fake smile, plow through the next half century, sit back, relax, and wait for the sweet embrace of death!

Mac:Happy wife, happy life!

Doc:So, what's new Eddie? Anything exciting?

Eddie Cantrow:Ah, yeah, we just got those new Nike Sasquatch drivers in the store, so that's been kind of cool.

Doc:Let me rephrase the question. You been crushin' any pussy?

Martin:Miranda, we are ready to play parcheesi!

Lila:I wouldn't change a darn thing because it made me who I am today, and do you know who I am today?

Eddie Cantrow:Who are you.

Lila:I'm Mrs. Edmond Cantrow.

Eddie Cantrow:Edward.

Lila:Edward? You didn't tell me that!

Lila:Oh Grouchy Marx, calm down.

Eddie Cantrow:Oh, excuse me.

Flamboyant Man:Yeah.

Eddie Cantrow:Hey, are you running this whole thing?

Flamboyant Man:Oh. Sure. Walk up to the first homo you see and assume he's the wedding coordinator, right? Nice.

Eddie Cantrow:No, no. I didn't - I didn't mean that.

Flamboyant Man:Nice stereotype, buddy. Nice.

[the obviously gay wedding coordinator walks up to them]

Wedding Coordinator:[in a sing-song voice]Did I hear someone say "wedding coordinator"? That would be *moi*!

[simpering]

Wedding Coordinator:How can I help you?

[after a pause, the flamboyant man simply walks away]

10 Year Old Girl:Are you like a widow or something?

Eddie Cantrow:Yeah, I'm a widow. Yeah.

10 Year Old Girl:Sorry.

12 Year Old Twin:He's full of it. He's gay.

Eddie Cantrow:No. I'm not gay.

12 Year Old Twin:Let's play 5 in 5 then.

Eddie Cantrow:What is that?

12 Year Old Twin:It's where I ask you 5 questions in 5 seconds. If you're telling the truth, then you shouldn't have to think.

Eddie Cantrow:[shrugs]Yeah, I don't wanna play your game, sorry.

12 Year Old Twin:Quick - how'd your wife die?

Eddie Cantrow:Murdered.

12 Year Old Twin:How?

Eddie Cantrow:Icepick.

12 Year Old Twin:They get the guy?

Eddie Cantrow:Yeah.

12 Year Old Twin:What was his name?

Eddie Cantrow:Ronald.

12 Year Old Twin:Brad Pitt. Russell Crowe. Who's hotter?

Eddie Cantrow:Brad Pitt.

12 Year Old Twin12 Year Old Twin:[point and laugh victoriously]

Eddie Cantrow:No no, no, I thought you meant who's hotter career-wise...

Doc:Come on, kid, let's get out of here. Bitches be crazy, you know that.

Eddie Cantrow:Hey, Martin!

Martin:Hello, asshole.

Eddie Cantrow:Great to see you too!

Eddie Cantrow:[to the 12 Year Old Twins]You know what? Why don't you take your little Human Genome Project and hit the road. Homophobic hobbits.

Eddie Cantrow:You're in debt? What kind of debt?

Lila:You know, the kind where you owe a lot of money to people.

Eddie Cantrow:I love sports. In fact, I even lost my virginity on a baseball diamond.

Buzz:Oh, you're too much. Really?

Eddie Cantrow:Yeah, yeah. A couple of the older kids pushed down and -

[growls]

Eddie Cantrow:[everyone stops laughing]

Eddie Cantrow:It was not pretty.

[pause]

Gayla:Did you file charges?

Eddie Cantrow:No, I...

Miranda:He was making a joke, Gayla.

Deborah:About anal rape...?

Eddie Cantrow:[about Lila]She doesn't have a great sense of humor.

Doc:Are you out of your mind? Funny's a male gene, you idiot. Haven't you ever noticed whenever you see a really funny girl, she's a little mannish? Think about it. Lily Tomlin, Ellen DeGeneres, Rosie O'Donnell...

Mac:Oh, I got a thing for Ellen DeGeneres though. I do, I have to admit it. I think she's great, I think she's hot. Great ass. Check it out.

Eddie Cantrow:Hey, uh, do you think you could tell me where I could find Uncle Tito?

Tito:Yes. Uh, may I ask who's inquiring?

Eddie Cantrow:Yeah, my name's Eddie Cantrow and I'm a friend of a friend of his. I'm supposed to give him something.

Tito:I'm sorry to tell you this, but he no longer works here. He's actually in jail, serving six to ten years. He was caught having cock-fights. And I'm not speaking about the kind of rooster.

Eddie Cantrow:Oh.

Tito:Screw off! I'm joking, man! C'mon! I am Uncle Tito.

Doc:Remember, this is the Bible Belt. These people have guns.

[repeated line]

Tito:Screw off! I'm joking, man!

标语:

Love blows
Love stings
It seemed like a good idea... at the time
Love hurts.
He waited all his life to get married. Too bad he didn't wait another week.
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