Brother Geraghty:We celebrate all the religions of the world in this room, Oliver. I'm a catholic, which is the best of all the religions, really, because we have the most rules. And the best clothes. But among us, there is also a buddhist, agnostic, we have a baptist, and we have an "I don't know", which seems to be the fastest growing religion in the world.
Vincent:You never seen Abbott and Costello?
Oliver:No, sir. Are they old?
Vincent:No. They're dead. That's the oldest you can be.
Oliver:Or the youngest. Time freezes when you're dead.
Vincent:You need to defend yourself, or you get mowed down.
Oliver:I'm small, if you haven't noticed.
Vincent:Yeah, so was Hitler.
Oliver:That's a horrible comparison.
Vincent:Indeed. Making a point, though.
Daka:My water is broken!
Vincent:Call a plumber.
Oliver:What's Vin like when I'm not around?
Daka:[with Russian accent]He don't like people. People don't like him. Except cat, and you. Why you like him?
Vincent:So this Irish guy knocks on this lady's door and says, you know, "Have you got any, uh... Any, uh... work for me?" And she says, "Um, well, you now, as a matter of fact, you could paint the porch." But two hours later, he comes back and says, "I'm finished, ma'am, but just for your information, it's not a Porsche, it's a BMW."
[bar patrons stunned]
Oliver:He's paying me hourly.
Vincent:I'm showing him how the world works. You work, you get paid, you drink.
Maggie:You're drinking alcohol?
Vincent:...I honestly don't remember.
Vincent:A lady of the night.
Vincent:It's one of the more honest ways to make a living.
Ocinski:Hey, uh, your dad the one that taught you how to fight?
Oliver:No, my babysitter.
Oliver:Is that our new neighbor?
Oliver:It's gonna be a long life.
Maggie:[about Oliver's book]God, that's depressing.
Oliver:No, it's not. The tree was meant to give, so to be able to give everything and have nothing left is the best life the tree could ever have.
Maggie:Well, your father must think I'm a tree.
Oliver:Why would he think that?
Vincent:[to Oliver]Do yourself a favor. Get a life. Stop living mine.
Zucko:Come on, Vinny! Why do you always have to do things the hard way?
Vincent:It's more interesting.
Zucko:And a lot more painful.
Vincent:Don't ever become a pencil-pusher kid, they're spineless.
Vincent:[answering telephone]Come on, coward, try to sell me something.