Dave Harken:[Nick, Dale and Kurt are visiting Dave in prison]Hello Nick, guy who saved my life, guy who fucked my wife.
Julia Harris:Have you ever done it in a dentist's chair?
Nick Hendricks:Well, you go there and I'll just go to the men's room for a minute.
Julia Harris:You're quite welcome to do that on me.
Nick Hendricks:Actually, it's... uh...
[hold up two fingers]
Kurt Buckman:Holy shit, he fight clubbed himself! We have a fight clubber!
Dave Harken:You options are.
Dale Arbus:Legal options.
Dave Harken:JACK SHIT.
Dale Arbus:I heard Jack Lebowitz is that an attorney I'm going to write that down Jack Lebowitz.
Kurt Buckman:Got to be can we get his contact info please.
Dale Arbus:Just because your dad called the cops doesn't mean that he doesn't love you.
Bert Hanson:I hate to break it to you, but the American dream is in China.
Julia Harris:You got a lot of stuff sticking out; I got a lot of holes going in.
Nick Hendricks:We're not going to see Mother-Fucker Jones because we're not going to kidnap anyone.
Dave Harken:BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO BALLS! And your fathers had no balls. You were all a product of generations of ball-less men who were either too weak or too frightened to stand up and take what's theirs. And one day you will pass on your empty shriveled sacks to your own pitiful offspring!
Dean "MF" Jones:Can I pose a question to you colonizers?
Nick Hendricks:Well, we were all working at pretty terrible JOBS for some awful bosses and we just thought, if we ever got a chance to be our own bosses, that we'd do things differently
Kurt Buckman:Yeah, we came up with the Shower Buddy
Dale Arbus:I'm sorry, that name's not official yet. I wanted the Shower Daddy
Kurt Buckman:Shower Daddy is worse on pretty much every level so, yeah
Dale Arbus:Why would your buddy be in the shower with you?
Kurt Buckman:Why would your DAD?
Nick Hendricks:Don't scream on television.
Julia Harris:Enjoy; it's good stuff. Learn something.